If Fat People Can’t Eat at Restaurants then Stupid People Can’t Vote

That way the lines at restaurants and voting booths will be shorter. It makes sense, right?

Well, apparently it makes sense in Mississipi.

You heard about the Mississippi politician who introduced a bill that would ban obese people from eating at restaurants, have you not?

I’m not even going to go into the ridiculousness of the bill, or his reason for introducing it. At 5’11” and 230 lbs, it’s obvious that he’s aiming to make the all-you-can-eat buffet lines at Sizzler as short as possible.

(Really, some posts just write themselves.)

As a decidely un-svelte person, I can assure you that Republican Rep. John Read is the only fat person on the planet who apparently doesn’t know that he is, indeed, fat.

I’m sure there are a great number of highly intelligent people living in Mississippi. Their influence, though, is apparently undermined by the number of stupid people who voted for this pleasingly plump politician.

Because, really, if we’re going to start legislating the bad choices people make, I could suggest a few other laws. Who wants to introduce a bill banning mullets? How about landing strip beards? Camel toes? Public displays of gastro-intestinal ability (Oh, wait. Camden schools are taking care of that one)?

What new laws would you like to see passed? Let’s make a huge list and see what other social ills we can annihilate!

Then contact your own local pleasingly plump politician, preferably one with the very social ill you are seeking to abolish, and have him/her take it to the people.

I love the democratic process!

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4 Responses to “If Fat People Can’t Eat at Restaurants then Stupid People Can’t Vote”

  1. JvW Says:

    I would eliminate the social ill of celebrities not wearing underpants when they are social because it makes me ill. 🙂

    This guy is a donkey. You can’t take away civil rights like that. It is my civil right to go to a restaurant and eat everything in sight if I want to, whether I weigh 100 lbs or 400 lbs. Plus, how would you determine who was too obese to eat at the restaurant? Have a BMI calculator at the door?

  2. scienceesl Says:

    Good grief, only in Mississippi…

  3. BrentD Says:

    Of course, we don’t need any more laws of this nature, but if there were a perfect place to inspire such social-nazism, it is Mississippi.

    At least from my experience.

  4. Monday Morning Carnival Linkfest « Are You Going To Be This Way The Rest of The Time I Know You? Says:

    […] Rants Carnival included my article If Fat People Can’t Eat at Restaurants then Stupid People Can’t Vote (Really, isn’t that one of the best titles?). I liked Wenchypoo’s article Comparing […]


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