My father just bought a condo on the ocean.
It’s been just eight months since my stepmother passed away, and he’s not been having an easy time. They’d been married thirty-five years, spending twenty-nine of them in a rambling five bedroom house in the suburbs. The last of us left the nest over fifteen years ago, yet they stayed in a home that was way too big just so there would be room for all of us to visit at the same time.
Now he’s there alone, and the motivation to keep the house has waned. He’s trying to have a social life again, but there’s just not much for him there in his family-oriented community. He drives down to see a friend of his who lives on the beach, and there are restaurants and piano bars and a whole other lifestyle that perfectly fits his vision for his life now.
So, he went and looked. Even though the experts say not to make any major decisions the first year after losing your spouse. And he bought the first one he looked at. After all, why look further when you’ve found the perfect place for you?
We think it’s a terrific decision. With three bedrooms we can’t all stay there at the same time, at least without sleeping bags. But three of five kids live within a 45 minute drive, so we’ll let the out-of-towners stay there, which is really no different than before.
He told me today that he had a rough night last night, thinking about all of the changes that are to come. Feeling grief and sadness that his wife won’t be sharing these things with them. Reliving memories of their time in the house, feeling reluctance to let it go.
But today he’s excited. Excited to start the next phase of his life, to make new memories with us, and with new people he’s yet to meet.
He was able to finagle a fifteen minute showing today so that I could see it, and so we could take some pictures and some measurements.
Excited is good. Moving forward is good. The new condo on the beach? Very, very good.
March 18, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Good for him! Sounds like a good decision. He’s lucky to have you standing beside him and supporting him 🙂
March 30, 2008 at 2:19 am
Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family Life, hosted at Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul! The Carnival will be live on March 31, 2008, so make sure you stop by and check out all of the other wonderful posts included in this week’s edition!
April 13, 2008 at 2:30 pm
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May 12, 2008 at 7:48 am
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