Part One of today was a success. I participated in a garage sale at my sister-in-law’s house, and arrived back in my less-cluttered home with some money in my pocket and a smile on my face.
Being out in the hot sun always saps my energy. Add schlepping stuff from our house to their house, and then schlepping the leftovers to the nearest donation site and I was left exhausted, and a little dehydrated. After relaxing to try to renew my energy I counted the money and put it aside to deposit into our long term savings account. Woo hoo!
Part One of the day was now complete. The Part Two I wished for was a long soak in a hot tub followed by a nap. The Part Two the world served up instead offered a birthday party at a local gymnasium with twenty three and four year olds. G-d is cackling. I love a good sense of humor.
So I trudged upstairs and settled for a quick, warm shower. As I waited for Son to wake up from his nap I gathered the clothes I’d been wearing along with what was in the hamper and threw them in the washer. I’m so efficient!
After son awoke I rushed to fill out the birthday boy’s card, grabbed it, the present, the invitation and Son and off we went. As I waited at the light I glanced at the invitation for the first time since the say we got it and realize I didn’t know exactly where the facility was. So I reached for my cell phone to call the facility and……….
My phone was not in my purse.
No. No, no, no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I knew exactly where my phone was.
In the pocket of the shorts I’d been wearing to the garage sale.
The ones I’d thrown into the washer.
The blood-curdling shriek inside my head thankfully did not come out of my mouth. Son would have been terrified.
I turned around and headed back home. I knew the phone was a goner, but I still needed to find out where the dang party was.
Still, as I walked up the stairs I couldn’t stop myself from hoping against hope that I’d realized the phone was in the pocket and placed the phone on my vanity.
Alas, my hope was for naught.
And the washer was already on the spin cycle.
I stopped the machine and pulled out the shorts. There in the pocket was my phone.
It was very clean. Very beautiful. And very, very dead.
I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.
It could happen to anyone, right? Sure.
But this isn’t the first time I’ve made this brilliant move. I did the exact same thing six months ago. That time, though, Husband was the one who actually threw them in the wash without checking the pockets, but I can’t really blame him because Son had just thrown up all over me.
So now I have to buy a new phone. Again. Luckily I was able to “buy” one for free, and it only cost me $18. In the world of cell phones and doublespeak the phone itself is free, but I have to pay to upgrade.
Whatever. I don’t have it in me to argue about the $18. I got off easy.
Watching Son’s face as he raced around the gym was enough to ease my stupidity-induced angst. So, Part Two turned out okay in the end, too.
Good thing there’s no charge for stupidity.
I’d have had to take out a second mortgage.