Lying, Justification and Farewell (or some other F word) You

Well, it’s over.

Husband and I walked into Son’s school to withdraw him, where I was told in no uncertain terms by the administrator that I was unprofessional for talking with other parents about what I had seen, that the teacher in question was not unprofessional and was in fact justified in confronting me in the parking lot because I was pointing at her and talking about her (I was talking about her,  but certainly not in tones loud enough to be heard by her when she was thirty feet away, and I was certainly NOT pointing at her, thankyouverymuch).

And even if I was doing all the things I was accused of, would not the teacher still be the unprofessional one?

And I should keep it quiet, especially when I completely disagree with how it was handled?


So now I am feeling sad and weepy because I feel ineffective in my communication with these people, because Son had to be removed from an environment where he was thriving, and because that lying, manipulative, cruel teacher is still around children.


9 Responses to “Lying, Justification and Farewell (or some other F word) You”

  1. Patty Says:

    Hugs! I am glad you pulled him out! I would call the state authorities and report everything that has happened to them, because they are at risk of loosing a child with the behavior of this teacher, and the adminstrators. By loosing a child I mean a child walking out of the building and leaving. Heck I may even consider calling the news channels and reporting the incident to them too.

  2. Mr Geek Says:

    She accused you of being unprofessional? Did you point out that you are not the professional in this scenario, that would be them. They are the ones being paid for this shambles!

    As for their anger and inability to hear, this is fairly standard cognitive dissonance, they hear what they want to hear as it makes them feel like the injured party, which is far favourable to being incompetent buffoons!

    As far as talking to other parents about it, I would have made that my personal mission, especially since you have made the decision to withdraw your child they now have nothing over you. In fact I would name and shame them and shout it from the roof tops!

  3. Erin Says:

    I am so sorry you found yourself in this position. Mr. Geek is right about why the teacher and the administrator reacted this way, but that doesn’t fix anything. Nor would going off on a personal mission. We, as a society, need to reevaluate exactly what it is we are trying to accomplish when we set out to “educate” our children. If we’re trying to create obedient industrial workers, that school will be quite successful. As for independent thinkers, not so much.

  4. Allison Says:

    I wasn’t there, but I think you did the right thing by reporting her to her supervisor. I don’t think passing along the info (gossiping, really) in the parking lot is productive, so I wouldn’t have done that myself. Nothing good can come from that. Sometimes less is better. I do think the teacher’s reaction to you talking about her was immature and unprofessional (and scary!) It further emphasized that place isn’t the right place for your son. Don’t beat yourself up about it; learn from it and move on.

  5. GrannyAnnie Says:

    I’m so glad to hear you stood up not only for your belief’s, but for that little boy as well. Standing up and protesting incompetent or unprofessional or CRIMINAL behavior is scary, painful, and sometimes even dangerous. It is still the right thing to do, though. This “teacher” placed that little boy at risk. There was no adult supervision outside that door. She also caused him distress and fear. I think there are laws in Florida which prohibit both types of neglect and abuse. The teacher, of course, reacted with aggression. This is who she is. She would not have mistreated that kid if she was not aggressive and mean. The administrator reacted with fear and justification. She has a school rep to protect, and she KNOWS what that teacher did was dangerous and mean. I am not surprised by either reaction. What I think you need to do now is follow up in writing. Write a letter to the school outlining exactly what you saw. Include quotes and names. Include the names of witnesses if any. Include the actions that you took, including speaking to the administrator and any parents that you approached. Include dates and times. State that despite the denials of the teacher, and the defensive posture of the school, that the actions of this teacher were unacceptable in terms of safety and the emotional health of this — year old child. Affirm that you have pulled your child out of this school based on the apparent acceptance of this cruel behavior by the administration of the school. Sign it, and send copies to the school, the local DA, the local papers, TV station, and the licensing agency for preschools. Also send a copy to the local Chamber of Commerce. This puts action where your outrage currently exists. It also takes the matter out of your hands and puts it in the hands of those responsible for our children’s safety. If you were wrong, they will decide that. If you were right, they will also decide that. In any case, the administration of the school will probably initiate policies to prevent this in the future. Remember, the administrator’s motivation was fear for the school reputation. As a Granny, and someone who has lived through this (I once walked up to a second grade class where the teacher was insulting and cussing out a seven year old), and one who took action, it was at first painful. I questioned if I was doing the right thing. But over the years, I’ve come to count this as one of the single most RIGHT things I ever did. How many second graders were saved by my refusal to “let it go”? Now it’s your turn…

  6. Tari Says:

    Good for you. As an educator and now parent to an almost 2 year old, thank you for not letting such behaivor get swept under the rug. What you did took guts and was the right thing to do. I agree with GrannyAnnie too about reporting the events in writing to a higher authority–whether it be the police, licensing board, or whomever. Best wishes for you in your search for a better school for Son.

  7. Kate Says:

    May I make a suggestion?

    Write a scathing letter. With details, and times, and a clear chain of events. Include as many strong adjectives as you need.

    Then sit on it for two weeks, and pull it out and reread it. You’ll either still want to send it, or temper it to a less scathing tone, or just let the whole thing drop. But grab those thoughts and feelings, get them on paper now, because the intensity fades quickly.

  8. What Kind of Fool Am I? « Are You Going To Be This Way The Rest of The Time I Know You? Says:

    […] the theme of Kate’s informal weekly carnival is “Fools”.   I could just link the posts I wrote about my experience with Son’s school last week and no one could blame […]

  9. A year ago… « Are You Going To Be This Way The Rest of The Time I Know You? Says:

    […] A year ago Son was in school.  This year he is not. […]

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