Dear Craigslist advertiser,
I know you want to get rid of your stuff. I know there are a brazilian listings in our area, so competition is fierce. I understand that the furniture is at your estranged husband’s house and you need to get it out of there.
It’s true, I did call to inquire about your “Very nice! leather couch, loveseat, chair and ottoman in very good condition!” I decided against going to see it, having reconsidered schlepping a half hour to see it, and spending $500 right now when we really could leave the living room mostly empty.
I appreciate you contacting me, telling me that you’ve reduced the price to $250. I was planning to try and talk you down to $200, and was excited about the prospect of taking the furniture. I was wondering how we’d get it to the new house. Your husband gave me excellent directions, and your in-laws met me at the door.
What I didn’t expect was the smell of cat that permeated the apartment. See, I’m allergic to cats. But I soldiered on into the garage, risking itchy, swollen eyes , in search of a great bargain. Hey, bairgain shopping is not for the weak of heart…
I was shown the couch. You remember your couch? Are you sure? The one with all of the tears in it that were not shown in the photos, or mentioned in the ad?
See, I don’t care that the loveseat, chair and ottoman are in perfect condition, and no, I don’t want to go into the other room to see them. I wanted the entire set to be usable. Silly me.
So I high-tailed it out of there, peeved that I’d wasted my time and gas money to go look at your furniture when if you’d been honest in your ad I’d never have bothered.
But I learned a few things:
1. When buying furniture always ask if they own a cat. No sense in me buying a couch that will make my eyes swell shut.
2. Ask if there are any rips and/or tears or other damage to whatever I’m inquiring about. There’s a chance – however slim – that the ad placer will find it less easy to lie over the phone than in writing.
3. Son apparently isn’t completely done with naps. He fell asleep in the car on the way there. Made my heart smile.
So thank you, Craiglist advertiser, for being such an asshat.