Tiger Woods, Bimbos, the media, Gloria Allred and the Kindergarten teacher. Who’s the biggest Asshat?

Tiger Woods has received a great deal of much-deserved censure lately.  Much-deserved from his wife, at least.  Don’t get me started on the bimbos he hooked up with.  You knew he was married, ladies.  You reap what you sow, asshats.

Do I have a ton of respect for anything but his golf game?  Nah.  He’s an asshat, too.  But do I think the general public has a right to be indignant about his personal life just because they bought a car or a drink or a set of golf clubs  just because Tiger endorses it?

No.  The general public is acting pretty asshat-ish, too.

The media and their intrusive, constant coverage of every aspect of Tiger Woods’ life?  Super dee-duper asshats.

But they are not the ones who have inspired me to post, and put me in the untenable position of feeling compelled to sort-of defend Tiger Woods.

The inspiration is actually Maureen Decker, Tiger Woods’ Kindergarten teacher.  She  is the latest to demand an apology from Tiger, but it isn’t because Tiger seduced her.  Or because he mixed the blue and the green paint.

It’s because she says Tiger lied when, in a book and several interviews,  he said,” I became aware of my racial identity on my first day of school, on my first day of kindergarten. A group of sixth-graders tied me to a tree, spray-painted (the n-word) on me, and threw rocks at me. That was my first day of school. And the teacher really didn’t do much of anything. I used to live across the street from school and kind of down the way a little bit. The teacher said, ‘Okay, just go home.’ So I had to outrun all these kids going home, which I was able to do. It was certainly an eye-opening experience, you know, being five years old. We were the only minority family in all of Cypress, California.”

The teacher claims it never happened.  She claims she spoke to other teachers, the principal and the school board president who all say it never happened.

Did it?  Perhaps yes, perhaps no.  It certainly could have.  Just because the teachers and administrators don’t see something (because teachers see everything, don’t they?), or recall it nearly thirty years later, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Is there anyone amongst us that doesn’t have traumatic events from their childhood  that have greatly influenced the beliefs they have about themselves, others or the world in general – events that other participants in the very same event have no recollection of whatsoever?   Even within your own family?

I do.  I distinctly recall being 4 years old and waking up to discover I’d been left alone in the house.  Terrified, I called the Operator, near hysterical.  My then-sixteen year-old cousin, who’d been charged with watching me, had walked down the street to buy some cigarettes.  His  Mom got home before he did, and despite the tongue-thrashing he got from her he has no memory of this incident today.

I sure do.

So, yeah.  It very well could have happened.  And he could have made it up.  Just because he cheated on his wife doesn’t mean he did.  So, the teacher is a minor asshat for being so  sure that it didn’t  happen when she really has no way of confirming that it didn’t.

And just because the disgustingly opportunistic Gloria Allred  is the teacher’s attorney doesn’t  mean the teacher sincerely doesn’t remember.  But the fact that the teacher hired the disgustingly opportunistic Gloria Allred makes my sympathies lean towards Tiger in this case.

I really have no respect for the disgustingly opportunistic Allred.  She gives me the willies.  She always defends asshats.

The disgustingly opportunistic Allred should really have a press conference and apologize.  For being such an asshat.  The biggest asshat?  You be the judge.

This is what happens when one is up with a five year-old at 6 am on a Saturday, and one turns on the news.

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