Cleaning Up Goop

I had a terrific post written and went to save it and WordPress errored out.  Dadgummit!

Here’s a brief version.

I cleaned my oven today for the first time since I’ve owned it (a little over a year).

It’s self-clean, but the thought of running the oven at 500 degrees for five hours in Florida was unappealing.  Not to mention the energy cost.  And my fear I’d still have to use Brillo pads and elbow grease just like in every other oven I’d shared a home with over the past forty-three years.  And you can’t use Easy-Off on self-clean ovens.  And even if I did use the self-clean feature I thought I’d likely still have to use lots of elbow grease.  And who does that voluntarily?

I avoided and procrastinated instead.  Then I said something very witty about how great it would be if the Olympics gave medals for these things instead of Water Polo and gymnastics.

It was time to clean it, as the oven window was opaque, and we’re putting the house on the market.  Then I found out you can use Easy-Off on self-cleaning ovens.  The angels sang.

It was easy and quick. Spray, leave for two hours and wipe off the goop.  I still had  to use a little elbow grease, but not much.

Now the nosy people smart buyers who look in my oven will think that it’s brand new, or that I don’t cook.

Both are fine with me.

The original article was much better.  Trust me.

90% Well Done

This morning I went to use the microwave and noticed it was dirty. I cleaned it, then noticed that the electric can opener was, too (does anyone have one of these that works well? I never have!). I cleaned that and pretty soon there was no stopping the ball from gaining momentum on the way to completely tearing apart my kitchen. Three garbage bags, 1 large charity box and twelve cleaned and re-organized cabinets later my kitchen is just about ready to be shown. That’s good, since I have appointments with two realtors this week.

It’s hard for me to plan ahead for these things. When I think about a huge job like that I get so overwhelmed I don’t even want to begin. And lately I’ve been doing so much at my Dad’s old house that the thought of packing or cleaning out anything is about as welcome as a hemorrhoid. As a result the upkeep of my house, and the market-readiness work have fallen to the wayside. That’s not right, but it’s the way that it is. Or has been.

But when something just evolves the way it did today I feel empowered and completely forget to be overwhelmed.

I like that feeling.

The only downside is that I still have not found a cure for the 90% Doneness Syndrome. I get 90% of a job done and am left with a pile of things that I don’t know what to do with, or am too tired to deal with after busting my tush all day. Today’s 10% is currently sitting on my dining room table.

Sigh.

Tomorrow. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

43 Good Facts to Know

A friend sent me this in an e-mail and I thought that some were good to know. I can;t attest to the veracity of these assertions, so enter at your own risk…

GOOD FACTS TO KNOW:

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair.
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish.
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes.
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair.
5. Elmer’s Glue – paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any.

6. Shiny Hair – use brewed Lipton Tea.
7. Sunburn – empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water.
8. Minor burn – Colgate or Crest toothpaste.
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too.

11 Bee stings – meat tenderizer.
12. Chigger bite – Preparation H .
13. Puffy eyes – Preparation H.
14. Paper cut – crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals).
15. Stinky feet – Jello
!

16. Athletes feet – cornstarch.
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails – Vicks vapor rub.
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff).
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won’t hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter – will get scratches out of CD’s! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper.

21. Sticking bicycle chain – Pam no-stick cooking spray.
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby.
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls.
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on.
25. Heavy dandruff – pour on the vinegar!

26. Body paint – Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt – mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak.
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping – large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD’s!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste.

31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax – Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food – fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets , soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall – Colgate toothpaste and brush it!

36. Dirty grout – Listerine
37. Stains on clothes – Colgate toothpaste
38. Grass stains – Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains – Coca Cola , it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax– sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water.

42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you “squeeze” for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie.
They are:
Monday = Blue
Tuesday = Green
Thursday = Red
Friday = White
Saturday = Yellow.
So if today was Thursday, you would want a red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green – Red – White – Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

43. Gatorade for Migraine Headaches. PowerAde won’t work.

Did you learn something new? I did!!!

Making My Bed

Making my bed is something I don’t necessarily like to do. It’s actually a bit of a pain.It’s not as simple as just straightening the covers. It also involves replacing my ‘headboard’, which is three large, square purple velvet cushions I got on clearance at Pottery Barn. Then I need to arrange the rest of the six king pillows (yes, six) to lean against the ‘headboard’, and artfully place the four throw pillows. Finally, the purple velvet bedspread must be folded neatly and placed, just so, at the foot of the bed.

I make my bed every morning, unless I’m washing the sheets that day. I have to. I have to because if I leave my bedroom messy, then my day will be messy. Putting my bed in order in the morning helps me keep my life in order. Simplistic, but true.

My mother always used to tell me that she could tell how I was inside by how neat or messy my bedroom was. Given all of the internal struggles inherent in adolescence I’ll bet you can guess how rarely my room was clean. If you think about the teenagers you know I think you’ll find the correlation exists not just for me.

The same connection between the state of my emotions and my environment still exists today. But I’ve learned a few things since high school. I now know that having my environment neat helps keep me calm. Having mess outside just exacerbates the mess inside. When my home is neat I feel happier, calmer, more effective, more powerful and even sexier.

I still hate to clean. Hate it. And there are still times when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders; when I do let my emotions get the better of me, and I let the mess start seeping down the stairs.

The first step in getting things back on track, to clean up the mess on the inside, is to clean up the mess on the outside.

I just wish the first step was bake some brownies. That can be step two, I suppose.

Good to Know In Case Your Disposal Ever Develops a Vile Smell

There was a smell coming from our garbage disposal. That happens, occasionally, when someone (Husband) doesn’t run the disposal after stuffing food down there. A little bit of baking soda and a good water flushing usually takes care of the problem.

Not this time.

This was The Smell That Wouldn’t Go Away. It was vile. It smelled like something went in there and died, like our poor garage visitor a few months ago (But at least that smell went away after we found and got rid of him). Actually, it smelled like something died, then took a bath in poop, and then died again.

Nothing I’d ever tried before worked to get rid of the smell. It was so bad Husband was ready to take out the disposal and put in a new one. Or move.

Cooler heads prevailed, though. I did a quick internet search and saw that adding a little vinegar to the baking soda until it stopped bubbling would do the trick.

Voila!

It was kinda cool, too. I felt like I was doing a 5th grade science experiment.  My son thought it was hilarious.

Good to know…

Pre-Cleaning for the Cleaning Lady

My father has bestowed upon me a lovely gift.

He is out of town this week, so he’s sending the girl who cleans his house to come clean mine.

Happy dance time! Can you see the smile from where you are? Can you?

I don’t have a cleaning girl of my own. On one salary it’s hard enough to pay for groceries. And gas. So when the laundry needs to be done and the floors need to be washed and the carpet needs vacuuming, I’m the girl.

I hate cleaning more than just about anyone, but I loooove having a clean house. So I keep the house relatively clean, and every now and again I get industrious and do a good, deep clean. And every once in a great while, when I have a few extra dollars from Craigslist sales or birthday money, I will hire someone to come in and clean for me. I’d much rather have someone clean my toilets for one day than enjoy a year’s worth of bath gels.

It’s been quite awhile since the last time that happened. My father had offered her services to me one other time, but I was enjoying InfectionsRUs and had to pass. It was a sad, sad time.

Tomorrow is the big day. I’m very excited. And I am suppressing my very strong urge to pre-clean for the cleaning lady. I am trying not to care that my son missed the toilet today, and that there’s a thick layer of dust on my bedroom furniture because we’ve had the windows open to enjoy the cooler weather this week.

Of course I’m going to make the bed. That’s not her job, at least to me. And I’ll finish up the laundry. I want her doing the hard, dirty stuff – I’ll take the easy stuff. I wonder if she’ll clean the grout in my tile floors…

Because she’s coming here on Thursday, too.

Sweet bliss.

I’m going to let her do what she’s being paid to do. And enjoy the reprieve…

But you all know I’m going to clean up the pee tonight, right?

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