Vacation Ends, You Can Find Me Left of Center

Kate at One More Thing is doing a weekly carnival of sorts, choosing a topic for other bloggers to write about.  This week’s topic is “Vacation”.

Our vacation this year was spent in North Carolina, where Husband spent nearly the entire time building a greenhouse for his parents.

He didn’t think it would take the entire week, but with some rain delays and just the added time anything takes when you do something you’ve never done before, just about our entire vacation was gone.

Husband felt bad that we didn’t really get to do anything fun, that I was stuck in the house.  Their home is thirty minutes from the nearest civilization,  and even that isn’t a hotbed of activity.  Most of my time was spent playing with son, playing on my computer, or doing housework for my mother-in-law.

There really is no reason for him to feel bad, I told Husband.  My entire life is a vacation.  I don’t have to go to work.  I get to have fun every day – taking Son to the playground, to the water park, to the library.  I can stay home in my PJs and spend the day swimming, playing Go Fish and cuddling a very cute 5 year-old as we take an afternoon nap.

I get to do what I want, when I want, all day long. And I get to do it with the most spectacular little blessing G-d has ever given me.  I feel so lucky that I get to do this.  It’s almost as if it’s some big secret that I should be protecting.  That if  someone figured out how great my gig was it would come to an immediate end.

I always knew it had to end – just like all vacations.  The brochure specifically stated that the all-day togetherness trip lasts only five years (unless you take the optional homeschooling rider, which I declined for the health and well-being of all involved) before a rider than changes everything kicks into gear.

And that change is now only five days away.

Because on that 5th day Son starts kindergarten.  And the best vacation I’ve ever taken in my life goes on hiatus for six hours a day.  And I move from being the center of his world to just left of center as he takes his place in a new sub-world, without me.

Sure, I’ll still spend lots of time with him.  And sure, it’s all part of growing up.  But I will forever miss this precious time we’ve had together, just the two of us.

And I’ll be forever grateful to G-d and to Husband for sending me on this five-year vacation.  I can’t wait to see what fun Son and I can cram into six less hours a day, as we inch towards age 15 when I will be so far from the center of his world that he’ll likely want me to walk two paces behind him in public.


What I’m Doing Today

First let me tell you what I’m not doing.

I’m not decluttering.

I’m not running errands.

I’m not cleaning.

I’m not shopping.

I’m not meeting with realtors.

I’m not going to the library.

I’m not cleaning out any closets.

I’m also not curing cancer, worrying about Obama or McCain, or getting a pedicure.

What I’m doing today, my dear friends, is spending the day completely focused on Son. Monday Son starts going to preschool 5 days a week, so today is the end of…something. The end of lazy days cuddling in bed after Daddy goes to work, the true end of his babyhood, the end of overseeing every aspect of his life. The end of our special time together that has been more precious to me than anything.

But it’s also the beginning. The beginning of organized learning, of new people and new places and new worlds. The beginning of life not always safe in my arms. The beginning of independence and self-reliance and the dawn of a new confidence.

How utterly craptastic.

So today it’s me and him, and some pool time, and some bounce houses, and some playing with his friend A. And I’ll do my best to be in the moment with him, enjoying him.

That’s what I’m doing today.

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