Show Me The Money, Mr. President!

Wow!!!!!!!!!!

President Bush wants to send me $1600!!!!!!!!!!

In an effort to stave off a recession, he’s announced that he wants to give a tax rebate of up to $800 to singles or $1600 per household. He wants me to go spend it to jump-start the economy. He wants to throw it at us middle-classers, because we, as a class, are so well known for squandering any money we can get our over-manicured hands on. We’re so spendiferous!

Sorry, Mr. President.

I’d loooooooooove for you to send me $1600. Heck I might even vote for you! No, wait. Oh…….that’s right. Term limits suck, huh?

Well, if you do get around to sending me that $1600, be forewarned. I’m going to be doing the same thing with this rebate that I did with the last one. It’s going right into savings. And if I did have any debt besides mortgage, that’s where it would be going.

I’m not buying any iPods.

I’m not buying a new car.

I’m not buying a bigger house (dammit).

I’m not buying a Wii, a new nose or a pair of Manolo Blahniks.

Americans need to learn to live below their means, not just at it. That means not running out and spending all of the money we get, especially before we get it. Do you know how many people were already spending this, at least in their minds, as soon as the words left your mouth?

What? That’s what you were counting on????

Oy.

Well, I’m sure there are plenty of people who will do as you wish.

Just not me.

How Do They Sleep at Night? Vol 3: The Credit Card Companies Part 1 – A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

This article is part of a series of posts about people who screw people, sometimes for a living. And, hopefully, lessons I’ve learned and want to pass on.

They’re going to start coming any day now. I just know it. The offers from my credit cards, wanting to help me at this wonderful time of year.

They’ll send me “convenience checks“, which I can use to get a cash advance. Isn’t that nice?

Of course they won’t mention the transaction fee, or the fact that I start accruing interest on the day I write the check. Or the fact that they can decline the check for any reason at all. Even though they sent it to me. Even though they could have checked my credit beforehand, instead of after I’ve remitted it to a merchant as my promise to pay.

They’re swell.

I’m so overcome with gratitude!

But that’s not all! No, my credit card companies are the best of the best.

They’ll offer to let me skip my December payment! They know I’ve overspent. Heck, they keep track of it better than I do! This will give me some breathing room. I’m all choked up.

So. Very. Thankful.

Who cares if my interest still accrues? I’ll avoid a late charge. What’s $30 compared to interest on the average American credit card debt of $8400, and growing? Have you seen the cost of a Wii?

I’ll worry about January in January. I mean, I could win the lottery before my payment is due in January!

It could happen!

Oh, thank you credit card companies! You put the reason in the season!

Where can I get that Wii? And can I borrow $2o for lottery tickets?

Like this post? Read the other posts in this series!

See the Stretch Your Dollar Page for other money-saving ideas.