After much thought about the events of the past few days Husband and I decided in the end that it wouldbe better for Son if we kept him in his class until the end of the year.
So, this morning I brought him to school. The administrator was not on site, so I walked Son directly to his class. I asked his teacher if she’d heard what happened and she didn’t want to talk about it – referred me to the office. That was fine because I didn’t want to talk about it with her, either. I just wanted to make sure she knew so that when I told her what a good teacher she is and how much I appreciate her, and specifically the way she handles the difficult child in her own class, she wouldn’t just dismiss it as a platitude.
We both got tears in our eyes, and as I started to walk away another mother asked what I was referring to. So I told her. And she told me about other things she’s seen this offensive teacher and others at the school do that disturbed her, and we discussed how lucky that our kids had the great teacher they have.
We continued to talk in the parking lot when the offending teacher from Monday approached me and said, “Hey, you’ve caused me a LOT of trouble.”
Alarmed, I still could not stop myself from retorting, “I caused trouble? No, YOU caused the trouble.”
She kept approaching, accusing me of “spreading rumors” to the other parents and making her and the school look bad. “I told what I saw. That’s not spreading rumors. And there were three other women who witnessed what I did.”
When she started to get in my face, talking about how I didn’t see what led up to what I saw and that I had no right to interfere or tell her what she did was “cruel,” I walked a few feet away and said, “I have nothing to say to you. ”
She then proceeded to tell her story to the three other parents standing with or near us. About how she and the child’s mother were “like this” as she crossed her fingers, about how what she did “was cruel but his mother agrees about the way to handle him”. About how everyone looked at the video and said she was justified.
Funny she never mentioned what the administrator told me – that she admitted that she was wrong and was told never, ever to hold the door preventing a child from entering.
I stood there not saying much of anything – though doing a few eyerolls as she painted herself in the best possible light. She said quite a bit, about how much she has studied and suffered and worked to become a teacher, and why would she do that if she didn’t care? That is really a very good question.
And about how she is a mother herself to a one year-old who acts out and she has to discipline him, and how she’s not putting up with anything like that. Gee, that’s a big old surprise, isn’t it?
And what really got me was that two of the parents thought I should not have intervened – that the teacher is the one trained and we should trust her judgment, and if “people thought they were perfect they can take their kids elsewhere”.
Yes, next time I see your child on fire I’ll go to the office first to have them determine whether or not it’s a justified fire…
I do support teachers. Son has been disciplined at school three times this year, and I completely supported the appropriate measures his teacher chose to take.
But there’s a difference. A biiiiiiiiiiiiig difference.
I’m just disgusted.
So I called Husband and we agreed to remove Son from the school. He’s very angry that I was confronted by this teacher and insists on accompanying me to complete the withdrawal, and despite his reluctance yesterday he wants to report the entire incident to the authorities.
I certainly don’t need teachers confronting me, and even if I am the only person in Florida that thinks this was inappropriate, cruel and uncalled for – no matter what the child did – then I’m really okay with that. And it’s obviously not the place for Son.