A Treasure Trove of Trash TV

Tonight I found myself in a place I’ve never been before.

There are two trashy reality shows I want to watch. At the same time.

My first contender is American Idol. They go to Hollywood this week, where all of the arguably talented contestants compete to make it to the top 24. This year some people get passes from the first round to the final day. For the rest they have to prove themselves, making for tons and tons of good drama.

AI is a perennial favorite of mine, and as such I set the TiVo before the season even started to catch every last dramatic drop. I even set it to stop recording five minutes late, as many people I know were left hanging last year when the finale ran late. I answered more than one frantic phone call wondering who the heck won.

Then, today, as I was sitting Tornado vigil, I happened to look at the TV listings to see what unlucky shows the networks pit against AI. There among the poor ratings victims was Big Brother 9.

What? That’s a summer show!!!! What the heck are they doing starting that in February, for goodness sake! And then I realized… we’re in February sweeps. You know the sweeps – when the networks pull out their ratings busters in an attempt to increase their viewership so they in turn can charge more for advertising all of the stuff we mostly don’t want or need.

I can’t say I watch BB religiously. But one cannot miss the first show. No. Absolutely not.

So, what’s a girl to do?

Luckily, I have TiVo. I also have three televisions. Most importantly, I have a husband who is willing to either play on his computer or use the little TV in the guest bedroom so I can watch BB9 and TiVo AI’s second hour. I think he’s only letting me do this because AI running two hours means House is not on, but I’m not asking. I shall just assume it is out of the kindness of his heart.

So, I will get to watch all of my trash TV tonight. And then Husband and I will together watch the only TV show we both really love: Boston Legal.

There is joy in Florida, despite the tornadoes.

Denny Crane.

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Weathering Storms

It’s interesting being under a tornado watch.

We don’t normally have tornadoes here. The occasional waterspout, sure. And very occasionally hurricanes throw off a tornado or two, but being under a tornado watch is very, very rare.

After 24 years in Florida I’m used to hurricanes. With hurricanes we have days to prepare. We can buy supplies, protect our homes with shutters or boards or tape. We can get out of town if we choose, or at the very least head inland.

But with tornadoes there’s almost no warning. They go where they want to go, no rhyme nor reason. The meteorologists can tell us that conditions are ripe for tornadoes, but they can’t tell us with much advance notice whether one is actually coming – let alone who’s in the path.

So there’s really no way to prepare, other than to keep the television on, and to know where inside our home to head if things look ominous. I’ve watched The Wizard of Oz. Just head to the root cellar or basement, right?

But this ain’t Kansas. There is no basement. There’s certainly no root cellar. We’re built on the Everglades, for goodness sake.

So, we’d head to the bathroom under the stairs. The stair structure and plumbing make it the safest place in the house. But that doesn’t do us a whole lot of good if the tornado takes the entire house, does it?

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

So, my son is sleeping upstairs in his bed, and I sit here, keeping vigil. And thinking.

Thinking about how much life is affected by the weather. And how much life is like the weather. Thinking about how we think we have control of everything in our lives, but we really do not. Thinking about how sometimes we have lots of time to prepare to weather the storms life throws at us, and sometimes we do not. And thinking about the weathermen in our lives – the doctors, financial planners, lawyers and teachers – who try to steer us away from danger and help us along the way.

But the bottom line is that we’re all responsible for our own safety. I can’t control everything, but if I know a hurricane is coming and I leave my home unprotected and go stand out in the middle of the street, well, I shouldn’t be surprised when the storm knocks me on my ass.

And if I see a tornado coming, I’ll get us to the safest place and duck.

Then, after the storm is over, I’ll hopefully get up and brush off the debris. Then I’ll survey the damage and rebuild. Or move on.

Sounds like an emergency plan to me.